|Birth Date||c.1920 (Aged 17 by 1937)|
|Affiliation||Lanseal Military Academy|
|Role||Lanseal cadet (former)|
Gallian Army personnel
|Unit Class||Armored Tech|
|Valkyria Chronicles 2|
- "I'm so miserable! If there's an unluckier guy, I'd like to meet him!"
- —Joachim Osen, Valkyria Chronicles 2
Valkyria Chronicles 2
Class G armored tech, who was recruited by Lanseal. Joachim is hasty and flippant, and was spoiled by his sister. In Valkyria Chronicles 2, Joachim confidently answered Brixham's question, only to find out that the physics lesson ended an hour ago.
In Unlucky, Avan overhears a whining Joachim in the courtyard and approaches him. After much pushing, Joachim decides to tell Avan about his day. Joachim had forgotten something in his room so he went back to get it. Unfortunately, the cafeteria had a new dish available and the lunch ladies had spotted Joachim, feeding him a lot of their delicious stew. Avan wonders about the misfortune of situation while Joachim complains that he got a stomachache from the stew and was placed in a very bad state. Following that unfortunate situation, a girl from Class D asked Joachim out on a date but Joachim found it unfortunate because she was not his type. After a tirade of Joachim's complaints, Avan comments on how Joachim's bad luck seems to bring him great things, with Joachim telling Avan that he is more unlucky having a friend like Avan who sees his misfortune as a positive thing.
In Booby Prize, Avan finds Joachim participating in a challenge conducted by the quiz club. The tension builds as Joachim is one answer away from winning the grand prize. He makes a mistake and loses the challenge, going home with the runner-up prize, a mini figurine of the headmaster. Cosette consoles the disappointed Joachim, who mentions that prior to losing, he had already guessed correctly 27 times.
In Joachim's Lament, Joachim looks over the fact that he has been having a terrible streak of bad luck. Avan, pestered by the despondent Joachim, tells him to quit sighing because he'll chase all the good luck away. Cosette runs into the room and tells the duo that Brixham has a mission assigned for them. Joachim comments on how he refuses to participate in the mission because of a bad feeling but Avan coerces him into it to stop his moping.
Finally, in Luckiest of All, Class G has completed the mission and is ready to go home until surviving rebels ambush them in the snow. Joachim is shot by a rebel while Avan and Class G intercept the rebel forces. Following their dispersal of the rebels, Avan attends to the dire Joachim, who tells Avan his last requests: to apologize to and tell his parents thanks for everything, to tell his dad to quit drinking, to apologize to his sister for not going to her wedding and to eliminate any traces of the magazines hidden under his bed. Zeri loudly notes his frustration, with a curt Avan asking Zeri about his deal. Zeri eagerly responds by telling Cosette and Avan that there is no blood anywhere on Joachim and that his pulse is steady. Zeri commands Joachim to stand up and he does so perfectly. An amazed Joachim looks at his figurine, with Avan commenting on how the bullet is stuck through Kluivert's head. Avan, Zeri and Cosette mention the luckiness of the situation as Joachim had been carrying the mini figurine within his breast pocket, thereby evading sure and certain death. However, much to everyone's surpise, Joachim complains about his misfortune, stating that he was beginning to like the mini figurine until the bullet had ruined it. A fazed Avan mentions that he should have seen it coming.
After the end of the Gallian Civil War, Joachim joined the army to protect his family. Due to a lack of space, he had to stay in the women's dorm.
Freshmen Cadet Guide
A pretentious cadet who is constantly pondering why he is out of luck. Since he is an oddball, his defense level actually seems to pick up when he is surrounded by multiple enemies. We are fully intending to build this young cadet into a monstrous beast capable of deflecting ordinary attacks, by grinding him through intense defense training.
- Class G armored tech recruited by Lanseal. Hasty and flippant. Was spoiled by his sister.
- Feels unlucky despite fortune. Riches fall into his lap, but they are not what he seeks.
- Joined army to protect his family. Had to stay in the women's dorm due to a lack of space.
- Booby Prize
- Joachim's Lament
- Luckiest of All
- Base stats
- Max stats
- Impatient - Hiding from view causes them to quickly get antsy, lowering their defense.
- Youngest Child - They feel left out when they are the last one to take action, lowering firing accuracy and defense.
- Luck-Pusher - Stays positive even when surrounded by enemies, raising defense.
- Lucky - Blessed with a lucky streak, they do not detonate land mines when stepping on them (acquired after completing his classmate mission, Bad Luck Battle).
|"This'll be a cake walk! For you guys. Without me."|
|"You can do it, guys! I'll be napping in the back."|
|"And I'm off!"|
|"Yeah, okay. Sure!"|
|"No dodging now!"||noicon|
|Killing a foe|
|"Ha, look at me!"|
|"H'yeah, that's right!"|
|"I've found one!"|
|"It's a hostile!"|
|"Need a hand?"|
|"I got this one!"|
|"I got it, Avan!" (Avan)|
|"You and me, Jamill!" (Jamill)|
|"You ready, Pete?" (Pete)|
|"Let's roll, Vario!" (Vario)|
|"C'mon! C'mon! I'll miss dinner!" (Impatient)|
|"Ugh, it just seems like a pain." (Youngest Child)|
|"Fall for me and you'll get burned!" (Luck-Pusher)|
|"Hello there! What have we here?" (Lucky)|
|"All right, all right, all right! Wooo!"|
|"I'm on the luckiest streak ever!"|
|Healed by Ragnaid|
|Rescuing an Ally|
|"Medic! Bad news over here!"|
|After Medic Visit|
|"Avan! Get the heck up, man!" (Avan)|
|"Hang in there, Jamill!" (Jamill)|
|"You checking out already, Pete?" (Pete)|
|"Still alive there, Vario?" (Vario)|
|"Gimme a break, man!"|
|"Ugh! Are you serious?!"|
|"Now I've done it..."|
|"Damn it, my stinkin' luck."|
|Revived by Medic|
|"Awesome, thank you."|
|"Ah! I'm not built for this."|
Despite the spelling of his name being 'Joachim', when his name is mentioned in the English version, it is pronounced Joaquín (/hwɑːˈkiːn/ or [wah-keen] instead of /ˈyoʊ ɑ xɪm/ or [yoh-ah-khim]). The Japanese version has his name pronounced correctly.
- The bullet that nearly killed Joachim was shot through the mini figurine's head, which foreshadows the Headmaster shooting himself in the same position after the rebels raid Lanseal.
|Core Members||Aliasse | Avan | Cosette | Lavinia | Zeri|
|Scout||Chloe | Helmut | Lotte | Melissa | Nichol | Sigrid|
|Shocktrooper||Anisette | Erik | Franca | Marion | Nahum | Pete|
|Lancer||Coleen | Jugin | Noel | Reiner | Rene | Vario|
|Engineer||Heinz | Magari | Randy | Raymond | Sofia | Vicky|
|Armor Tech||Alexis | Inghild | Jamill | Joachim | Mischlitt | Morris|
|Extras||"Ali" | "Cosette" | "Zeri" | Aisha | Alicia | Alicia (TV) | Edy | Eleanor | Emile | Emilia | Faldio | Homer | Hubert | Isara | Jann | Juliana | Julius | Karl | Largo | Leon | Lynn | Marina | Maximilian | Mintz | Oscar | Ramal | Rosie | Selvaria | Susie | Welkin | Zaka|